Surprising Success of Online Dating Site

With millions of people signed up and regularly using 'compatibility' driven online dating sites, it was only a matter of time before social scientists would take an interest in what was going on and investigate the success of these endeavors. Dr. Jeff Gavin of the University of Bath conducted an online survey of people in the 18-65yr age range who had used the services of an online dating site. His findings were very encouraging for the increasing number of people using cyber routes to relationships. After a significant period of exchanging private messages and emailing, ninety-seven percent of couples who met on online dating sites went on to have further dates.

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The continuing relationships from these meetings went on to last an average of seven months. Eighteen percent of them lasted longer than a year. Several couples were still together at the conclusion of the survey, more than two years after their initial meeting. This means that meeting someone through online dating  site gives a similar chance of relationship success through traditional methods.

Chatting in online dating chat rooms was found to be a stronger basis for getting to know someone than just using email. Couples who engaged in simultaneous dating chat exhibited a greater knowledge of each other, and quickly came to depend on each other emotionally. Likewise, telephone conversations deepened the relationship.

Men were found to be more emotionally dependent on the initial e-correspondence, and more committed to the relationships than women. The exchange of gifts, a traditional gesture of romance, ahead of the first meeting seemed to secure the commitment.

Webcams generally were not used, even though most of the subjects owned them. The study showed that a continued element of anonymity enhanced the overall 'getting to know you' experience. This situation is less intense than the real life version and perhaps appealing because the pressure of facing instant judgments is significantly lessened. Couples spurned their webcams in favor of a continuation of net-borne comfort, and there seems to be no loss of development as a result.

This stands in contradiction to often heard advice to online dating singles to 'meet as soon as possible'. Some have argued that in order to guard against 'building a fantasy' during the early stages of getting to know someone through online dating, a fast meeting is essential. Dr. Gavin's research seems to indicate there is little to fear from delaying that initial meeting for as long as one likes.

All this good news does not mean that signing with an online dating site is a guarantee that sooner or later, you will find a suitable partner. Compatibility can be accounted for some degree, but 'being compatible' doesn't necessarily mean 'destined to love.'

One online dating member recently quoted in The Daily Telegraph, and his advice hinged on keeping expectations down and realistic outlook. The bottom line is that don't bank on finding romance. Using an online dating site may lead to great things, but until they happen, you're merely swapping a few emails and photos, and indulging in pleasant distractions from regular life. Even phone calls and friendly chats should be regarded as a bonus.